Partnering With Parents: Some Ideas
“Ministries having the greatest success at seeing young people emerge into mature Christians, rather than contented church-goers, are those that facilitate a parent-church partnership focused on instilling specific spiritual beliefs and practices in a child’s life from a very early age. Sadly, less than one out of every five churches has produced such a ministry” [1]
Prioritizing children, teenagers and young people must necessarily involve prioritizing their families in that faith formation. We cannot effectively engage and disciple our young apart from the systems in which they are embedded-in particular, their families. [2]
Many churches believe wholeheartedly that partnering with parents is important and desirable, but it’s much harder to put rhetoric into practice.
Kara Powell, in the book – ‘Growing Churches Young’ confronted this same challenge and describes starting the process by instituting the following practices in their church, and with their staff team, to see what resulted. The plan for parent engagement included 4 key aspects consisting of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly – ‘touch points’.
Daily: Each day from Monday through to Friday, the staff members set calendar reminders to stop and pray for five minutes for parents. Five minutes may not sound like much, but our leaders confessed that before the cues, they hardly prayed for parents at all.
Weekly: The team agreed to communicate with all parents directly once each week in some way- most often through a weekly email to parents- and to communicate with various parents individually through occasional calls, texts and meetings. This commitment included a promise to respond to parent emails and phone calls within 48 hours.
Monthly: Parent training had been scattered and inconsistent at our church, so the team built a monthly rhythm of resourcing parents directly. Using a variety of means, they offer training parents can access more readily: an online article one month, a parent book club another, and occasionally an in-person training seminar.
Yearly: Taking a cue from schools, our innovative ministry leaders set up annual parent-leader conferences. They schedule 30-minute blocks over the course of a couple of weeks, and the staff or volunteer team member most connected with a student meets with that student’s parents for an intentional conversation. The leader shares highlights of the student’s growth, the gifts they see emerging, and the ministry’s vision of better partnering with parents. Perhaps most importantly, they ask seven golden words: “How can we pray for your family”?
“Today parents at our church feel more connected and cared for than ever, and the ministry leaders benefit from greater parent buy-in and support” [3]
The book also suggests ways in which more intentional steps can be made to move churches and families closer to one another.
“* Review your ministry calendar: Look for youth and children’s programs or events that compete with families for time and energy or that cause tension within families because of the ways the calendars collide with-rather than complement-one another. Consider realigning your schedule or even cutting events.
*Create rhythms of engaging parents: Look at your ministry’s daily, weekly, monthly, yearly engagement with parents and create touch points that feel sustainable in your context. Better yet, ask parents how much and through what channels they would like to hear from your ministry.
* Partner with adult education: Since parents are the greatest influence on their kids’ faith, the discipleship of adults has a direct impact on the discipleship of young people. Partner with whoever leads adult spiritual formation in your church to better equip parents to talk about and live out our faith every day.
* Offer parent training when it works for parents, and feature topics they care about: Sometimes youth ministries plan meetings and training events that are poorly attended (and attended primarily by those parents who least need the training). Instead, thoughtful ministries have two strategies: First, tap into times when parents are already on site (during youth group gathering, children’s church, or immediately following church-providing lunch and child care). Second, give them valuable help by topics they care about and might be anxious about, such as digital technology and social media, transitions, and learning to talk with kids about sex.
* Invite parents to volunteer: Tap into the gifts and skills of parents so they can serve in youth ministry directly rather than watch from the stands. Think beyond tasks like organizing meals or driving to events, and look for opportunities for parents to be involved in formation through mentoring, leading small groups, or discipling young ministry volunteers” [4]
NOTES:
[1] ‘Spiritual Progress Hard to Find’: Barna Research (December 22nd, 2003)
[2] Powell Dr. K.E, Mulder J & Griifin B: Growing Young: 6 Essential Strategies to Develop Young People and Love Your Church.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.
